Amish Paradise - "Weird" Al Yankovic

Amish Paradise - "Weird" Al Yankovic

Amish Paradise

Zombie Paradise is the death song for Abandoned. It is also the musical easter egg on Lockdown. It is a parady of the "Weird" Al Yankovic song, Amish Paradise, which in turn is a parady of a song called Gangsta Paradise. It is sung in a Gravemindish voice (very low and cragly) to the tune of Amish Paradise/Gangsta Paradise.


As I walk around the building while I wait for some brain
I take a look at the humans and realize they're very plain
and that's just perfect for a zombie like me.
You know, I love fleshy things like human tissue you see.
At 4:30 in the morning I'm survin' Sam.
Walkin' by the Hellhounds and one takes a -blam!-... fool!
And I've been killin' and eatin' people so long that
no one can deny that my brain is gone!''

I'm a zombie of the map, I'm into discipline.
Got a dismembered arm in my hand and some gore on my chin.
And if I get all of my kills and you kill all thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 2099

We are dead, not alive
Living in a zombie paradise
It's gory work, ain't that nice?
Living in a zombie paradise
I have died once or twice
Living in a zombie paradise
Chasing the MB isn't wise
Living in a zombie paradise

Nikolai put a bullet in my side last week
I just growled at him and I turned the other cheek.
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well,
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell.

I'll always eat a child even if he didn't deserved it.
A zombie with a conscious? You know that's unheard of!

I don't care for clothes and I don't have a hat
and my homies agree I look good covered in gore... fool!

If you come to visit you'll be beaten senseless.
We will then dismember you so you'll literally be breathless!

We also ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare.
We're just cranilogically impaired.

We don't need hands, a heart, or legs
Not a single artery
Like Left 4 Dead 2
It's as zombie filled as can be

We are dead, not alive
Living in a zombie paradise
We love making people cry
Living in a zombie paradise
For some reason we have glowing eyes
Living in a zombie paradise
We're addicted to 115
Living in a zombie paradise

Dismemberin' the human, churnin' lots of guts,
broke through a barrier, soon I'll break through another.
Think you're not righteous? Think you aren't pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as soulless as thou art!

I'm the creepy thing that the humans like to shoot,
crawling around day and night wishing I had a foot...

So don't be vain, and don't be whiny!
Or else, my brother, I might have to go berserk on you cranium!

We no longer have lives
Living in a zombie paradise
We are all zombified
Living in a zombie paradise
We serve Sam day and night
Living in a zombie paradise
And I bet you think it bites
Living in a zombie paradise

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah MONKEY BOMB!!!!


  • When you die in Abandoned, the death music is the part from the song: We no longer have lives, Living in a zombie paradise, We are all zombified, Living in a zombie paradise, We serve Sam day and night, Living in a zombie paradise.
  • In the first line, "the building" could refer to either the abandoned base from Abandoned, as this is Abandoned's death song, or it could refer to the building you are trapped in in Lockdown, as this song is that map's musical easter egg.
  • When -blam!- is used, it is censoring out the word piss. It is a reference to how Bungie censors swear words in there games and site.
  • When the song mentions Nikolai Belinski burning in hell, it is referencing Sniperteam82308's map, Hell.
  • "Cranilogically" is a made-up word refering to the cranium, or skull.
  • In the same line, Daniel Smith's power-up, Berserker, is referenced.
  • The final to the song is supposed to be depicting the zombies getting excited and swarming around a Monkey Bomb that had just been thrown. The "*explosion*" depicts the bomb blowing up.
  • The song mentions that the zombies serve Samantha Maxis, despite her not being a part of the Lies storyline.
Maps LockdownUsopirePmawsSanronShattered RealityThe LieCohenClockwork
Spin-Off Maps Dead CitySpace BaseDead Lies Arcade
Playable Characters Richard KeatsMichael NavarroShayla CohenChristopher NooringDaniel Orien
Enemies Security ZombieTerrorantulaRemainsTime Turner
Utilities Auto-Changer MachineOne-Way ShieldPositive and Negative Worlds

Perk-A-Punch Machine

Achievements Slayer of BeastsStep Away From the Animal!Field TesterArachnophobicRemember Me!?MinerThe Truth • Blast From the Past • Back to the Future • Lockdown • Shattered • Fear the Reaper • Penultimate • Abandoned
Power Weapons KWW-1KWW-2KWW-3TMD-5201
Musical Easter Eggs Zombie ParadiseIn Search of BrainsKill a ZombieSocks With SandalsIdiotsThe LieYou'll Be Gone

Super Sale SodaSuper Strength SodaSuper Speed SodaSuper Space SodaSocksnsandals Soda

Concussion ColaSalvager

Cut Content Want You Dead
Miscellaneous Keats' FirearmsSan Kan CityPack-a-Punched Weapons
Quotes LockdownUsopirePmawsSanronShattered RealityThe LieTeleportation • [[Clockwork/Quotes|Clockwork