Warped/Transcript

''This is the transcript for Warped. It is played before the start of the game on solo and can be skipped after it has been watched for the first time.''

''The four friends are seen appearing in a public server, where the game hasn't started yet. As they gather, other anonymous and random players join as well.''

Shadowshot: So, is everyone here? Or did someone invite other friends?

Magma: No, we're all here, man.

''In the background, a player with a rather feminine voice is heard shouting "oh mai gawd, oh mai gawd, this game is sooooo cool!" faintly.''

Blaze: So anyways... what do you guys think of this game? I think the reviewers were totally right about it topping Xbox and PS3 together (laughs).

L-Spark: Yeah, it definitely does... But this is on a whole new level. It's like Kinect, but like totally realistic. If they made a game modeling real life, I bet so many people would just waste their real life for a virtual life (chuckles at his own comment).

Shadowshot: What are you talking about, dude? People already waste their life on video games!

L-Spark: Oh please. It's just you Xbox users who play 24/7. Us PS3 users will always be more active!

Blaze: (has an annoyed look on his face) Dude, that's because Xbox is better than PS3 and always will be, even if the Imagination completely obliterates it.

Shadowshot: Guys! I think the match is starting now. Man, it's going to be really fun killing a bunch of zombies with a bunch of random people we don't know!

Magma: Sounds like Zombies. I kinda miss those old days of just sitting on the catwalk with a Pack-a-Punched whatever. Good times, but now, it's the real thing.

''The game starts and everyone gets into their positions. The starting weapons are just Beretta M9s.''

L-Spark: (after killing a zombie) Damn, it's like I'm actually firing a weapon. This is extremely realistic!

Blaze: (after zombie blood splatters on him for the first time) Oh man! How realistic did they make this?! This shit feels like real blood.

''Another player from the other side of the base comes over to them. Over his head reads 'Mr. STG'''

Mr. STG: Hey guys. This is a really good game, no? What do you guys think of it?

Magma: Who the hell are you? Some reporter for the New York Times?

Mr. STG: Actually, yes.

Magma: (under his breath) Well, then!

''Meanwhile... while Shadowshot is up at the sniper tower.''

Shadowshot: Hey, kid, you're a pretty good shot. But watch a real pro right here.

He manages to do better than the player next to him, whose head reads 'Ceptor.'

Ceptor: Where'd you learn to shoot like that, man?

Shadowshot: It just comes natural to me... Genetics I guess (smiles).

''Rounds go on, the zombies everntually get harder, and more weapons start spawning in the base. Major lag issues start to erupt. Everyone wonders what is happening.''

Blaze: What's going on? I hate lag...

L-Spark: What would you expect? It's a new and extremely detailed game, so it's bound to have at least a few problems, especially lag issues.