Chateau de la Morte

Opening Cutscene Transcript
[The four celebrities walk inside a Castle]

Michael Rooker: Where the fuck are we?

Robert Englund: From the looks of it, a castle.

Michael Rooker: You don't say?

Sarah Michelle Gellar: [cocks a handgun] Come on boys, grow some balls. It's just a castle.

[A zombie sneaks up from behind Danny Trejo]

Danny Trejo: Oh shit! [shoots the zombie in the head]

Michael Rooker: We need to get the fuck out of here!

[Suddenly, a cupboard slides in front of the door and zombies emerge]

Danny Trejo: How the fuck did that happen? [shoots another zombie]

Robert Englund: Don't fucking know, don't give a fuck! We gotta kill and escape!

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Don't forget we need to find more fuel! [roundhouse kicks a zombie]

Michael Rooker: Whatever, just survive! [shoots a zombie in the head, and the blood splatters against the screen, ending the cutscene]