User blog comment:Magma-Man/Game of the Year Awards! - 2013/@comment-1045586-20131204235046

Ah balls, now I have to think about games I played this year. Screw it, I'll do my own awards and top it off with a traditional top five.

The Probably Warrants It's Budget Price Award: There wasn't really many games I played this year that could be part of the category, but there is definitely a clear winner.


 * Dead Island: Riptide
 * Techland
 * Deep Silver
 * Approximately £25
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC

Yeah, I think anyone who bought this was half-expecting this to pretty much be what essentially amounts to two expansion packs loosely tied together with cable ties. Still, it continued Dead Island's reputation of being a glitchy, broken, hilarious and mornonically fun game.

The Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding Award: This award is probably the most prestigious award in the entire ceremony, and goes to the game which invoked the most British spirit. I sat down for a long time as I wanted to make sure my choice was completely correct and I wouldn't regret it. In the end, though, I made my choice.


 * Tomb Raider
 * Crystal Dynamics
 * Square Enix
 * About £40
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC

...and my choice was Tomb Raider. Aside from being a genuinely quite exciting action-adventure with one of my favourite near-ending moments of this year, and getting quite weird in some places, it is unmatched in it's pure, crumpet-devouring Britishness. Lara Croft was played by the bloody Duchess of Cambridge. Kind of. Not really.

The Lighter Flame Physics Award: This award was toughly contested for, and it shows the dedication of developers that really want to make sure their lighter flame physics are top notch. Heavy Rain was unrivaled with it's match flame physics, but who takes the prize for best light physics?


 * Metro: Last Light
 * 4A Games
 * Deep Silver
 * £25-ish
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC

Metro: Last Night is notable for it's stunning graphics, incredible atmosphere and it's dynamic spider webs. However, nothing else could match it when it comes to lighter flame physics. I'm pretty sure no other games have lighter flames that flicker and move as realistically as the one implemented by 4A Games. Simply wonderful.

The Pathetic Best Seller Award: I think if anybody spoke to me on a regular basis, they'd probably guess what this award was going to by 'pathetic'. The 'best seller' essentially give it away. Yes, you've probably guessed it.


 * Grand Theft Auto Version Five
 * Rockstar North
 * Rockstar Games
 * Around £38 or something
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360

This is essentially a big middle finger pointed directly at a large portion of the gaming world. With it's detestable online mode which somehow managed to be worse than GTA IV's, it's shooting mechanics pasted from Max Payne 3, it's random events pasted from Red Dead Redemption and made not random, it's bullshit skill mechanics pasted from any generic RPG and it's awful writing and poorly-written characters. The best parts of this game are things that you do yourself because your bored. Turning off the HUD at night and pretending I was playing a survival horror game was just about the most amusing thing I did. Also, I know most people will reply to me saying it isn't called Grand Theft Auto Version Five before reading this paragraph, so I'd like to confirm that I know there is no 'version'.

The Visual Eton Mess Award: This is probably the second most prestigious award after the Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding award, but it is still one hell of an award to recieve. There were a couple of games that were essentially big splurges of colour this year, but I'm gonna have to give this award to a fre game I got last Friday.


 * Resogun
 * Housemarque
 * Sony Computer Entertainment
 * Absolutely Nothing
 * PlayStation 4

This game is literally a game. This game is also figuratively a rainbow wasteland. With it's EP038 Porygon graphics, it's soundtrack which invokes strong Rainbowdragoneyes vibs and the controller screaming at you constantly to save the little green people, this game is pretty much a metaphor for all drugs even manufactured ever.

The Legitimate Top Five Award(s): We've gone through all of the single awards, now it's time to order my traditional top five games of the year, because that's a mandatory thing that you have to do. Bare in mind that pre-number three, there isn't really a 'set in stone' order. However, 3-1, definitely in order.

Número Cinco
 * Tomb Raider
 * Crystal Dynamics
 * Square Enix
 * £40 or under/over
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC

The winner of the Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding award also takes away the slightly less prestigious fifth place in the Legitimate Top Five. I already talked about why I liked this game, but I'm gonna do it some more. It was more than simply female Uncharted, and had some additions such as a logicial and worthwile skilling tree and a weapon upgrade system that took part over the course of the entire game, instead of just giving you the badass super bow after ten minutes. However, Crystal Dynamics should learn to spot when an added mechanic means nothing *cough*hunting animals*cough*. Would I double dip if the basically confirmed next-gen remake is released? Eh, if it's cheap.

Número Cuatro
 * Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
 * Ubisoft Montreal
 * Ubisoft
 * Technically £45
 * PlayStation 3,PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, PC

The only next-gen to appear on the Legitimate Top Five. Killzone, I need to play you more. Apologies. Black Flag is an excellent game, but I can't put a game I haven't finished yet in my top three, that's unfair. Ubisoft fixed essentially everything they screwed up in AC3, from the completely unlikable protagonist, to the various wooden object creation minigame shitfest. You don't get money to invest into making more money anymore. You make money to make your boat better so you don't die. It's destroys AC3 on so many levels, you'd think they had this game in production for longer. Now I need to actually finish the bastard.

Número Tres
 * BioShock Infinite
 * Irrational Games
 * 2K Games
 * Just over £45 for extra stuff
 * PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PC

Wow, I didn't think that Bioshock Infinite would finish third overall, considering it was first for at least half the year. But yeah, the story and final twists of Bioshock Infinite were simply incredible and perfectly pulled off. Burial at Sea - Episode 1 also manages to have a mindscrew of the same caliber at the end, which is quite crazy for something that was only about three hours long, tops. However, Irrational Games really need to work out how to make slightly more entertaining gameplay.

Número Dos
 * Pokémon X and Y
 * Game Freak
 * Nintendo
 * £35, give or take £5
 * Nintendo 3DS

After several months of inactivity, my 3DS was resurrected via Pokémon Y, and what a marvellous resurrection it was. Nearing 100 hours of gameplay now, and I still haven't evolved Gabite. Anyway, Pokémon X and Y is the largest leap forward that Game Freak have ever done. They've re-rendered every Pokémon in 3D, have rendered the entire game world in 3D, have introduced mega evolutions and have introduced the Honedge evolution line. Game Freak put no effort into their game? Bullshit.

Número Uno
 * The Last of Us
 * Naughty Dog
 * Sony Computer Entertainment
 * Something like £50 for the extra-nice Joel edition
 * PlayStation 3

Until around June, I was pretty much convinced that Bioshock Infinite would take the game of the year crown. When June 14th (well, actually it was June 17th. Fuck you Tesco Direct.) came around, that all changed. Everything in The Last of Us was perfect. Terrifically written and well-performed characters, twists you weren't expecting from the moment you started the game (seriously, they begin the game with a twist nobody was aware of pre-release), brutal and appropriately difficult combat, beautiful environments and character models and an incredibe story. There is also a multiplayer mode that is actually unique and doesn't feel tacked on. Well, it might've been tacked on. It's still good though.

There, I did it. Have fun.