User blog:Magma-Man/Where I've Been

December hasn't been kind to me and so far January hasn't either. I've been a nervous wreck most days and completely drained the others. Life has kicking me down again and again, and during what is supposed to be the "happiest time of the year" as well as the birthdays of both my mom and my partner. I've been having trouble keeping food down, eating has become difficult. I'm bleeding money left and right and now my car might need to get repaired again. Work has become so stressful I dread it every day. I've become sleep deprived just because I want as much concious time as possible inbetween shifts, where I have to deal with people that stress me out to no end. There are far more personal problems on top of all of that, but I don't want to list them. This isn't meant to be a woe is me post, more a "I'm still here" post and this is why I haven't been active/chatty.

I'm also not going to give up on the friendships that have been rekindled. That really meant a lot to me and I don't want us to drift away again.

Eternal Deception
I've not given up. I've hit a road block and with how crappy I've been doing I haven't had the energy to move past that road block. I've still been writing, it's just on other projects where the first drafts have been flowing better for me.

I am still determined to finish the storyline. I'm over the half-way point and am really excited to see what you guys think about the final chapter. I hope to get back to it soon.

Thoughts on Star Wars
'''I don't want to "discuss" it anymore. Star Wars has been one of the few points of joy in my life these last two months and the toxic/pissy fans have been endless and tiring, not just online but at home as well. That being said, if you wanted to hear my opinion, it is below, I've been wanting to share it, I just don't want to discuss it. Hence my silence in the Discord chat.'''

In this darkness Star Wars has been a big comfort and I've greatly enjoyed Mandalorian, Fallen Order, and yes, Rise of Skywalker. The problem is the fanbase is making me so sick and tired of the whole thing that I don't want to talk about it anymore. I commited the crime of liking the entire sequel trilogy and even people I used to think were reasonable about Last Jedi have pissed me off. I just want to gush about how much I love Star Wars but I feel like I can't say anything without someone telling me all the different ways I'm wrong on however many levels. Sorry for liking the damn Star War.

Fallen Order was fucking amazing. The best non-From Software soulsborne I've played. Every one of the developers should be immensely proud of their work.

Thoughts on Rise
Saw it two times, once by myself on opening night and once with my partner when she got the chance. We both like it a lot, and she was one of the ones who wasn't happy with Last Jedi. The crowd actually clapped at the end of our showing, which was a surprise. I had a blast both times. Palpatine is one of my favorite antagonists in all of fiction and seeing him back on the big screen one last time and in such a big way was amazing. I loved every one of his scenes.

It felt like a very good (but yes, flawed) conclusion not only to the sequel trilogy but the saga as a whole. Without going into spoilers (although I'm guessing you've all seen it by now) in particular I absolutely loved the ways it connected itself thematically not only to Return of the Jedi, but to Revenge of the Sith and Anakin's fall. For me the strongest part is the second half of the film. The ending, despite lacking some things that I was really hoping to see, was fantastic. The first half is a mess but at least a fun mess. It is probably my favorite of the trilogy believe it or not. It takes more risks/is more interesting than Force Awakens, and is more consistantly fun than Last Jedi. The first two also lacked good ol' Palpy. I would really love an extended cut, it would help with the pacing of the film.

I can't wait to see what they do with the expanded universe material, (games, books, comics, shows, etc.) now that they will be free to expand on the sequel storyline. Personally hoping most for say, a comic series about Palpatine inbetween episodes 6 and 9 and I want more history about the sith planet and race, as well as expansion on a huge reveal no one's been talking about that adds such interesting context to the rule of two.

tl;dr
I've been having two of the worst months of my life. I've been quiet but I'm not gone. Sorry to leave you guys in silence for so long. Don't know when I'll be active again but I hope it is soon. I like Star Wars.

Eternal Deception isn't abandoned (lol)